Shakespearean FF8
by mollikins
Summary: Watch our beloved characters make a fool of themselves as they give a production of romeo and juliet...live!! Now...rEAD and rEVIEW!!!
1. Chapter 1

SHAKESPEAREAN FFVIII

SHAKESPEAREAN FFVIII

Watch our beloved characters make a fool of themselves as they give a production of romeo and juliet...live!!

DISCLAIMER: Squaresoft owns FF8, Shakespeare owns Romeo And Juliet. I own nothing.

Chapter 1

"Squall!! Squall!! Squaaaaaaaaaaall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Squall turned around, and grimaced at the sight of Selphie's flip hairdo. He stood up straighter to look cooler and more in control, but immediately developed a cramp in his back once more.

"Ugh..."

Hunched back over again, he looked at Selphie's excited self.

"Nani?"

"Whaaaaat?"

"Ah shit!"

"Whaaaaat?"

"It's this problem with me lately, I keep speaking Japanese...totally absent-mindly, even though I've never HEARD it before, let alone study it!"

"Erm...alrighty, that's...HORRIBLE!! GET IT CHECKED OUT!!" yelled Selphie...then muttering under her breath, "Can't have him start speaking Japanese on stage..."

"Oh geez, calm down girl. And what did you say?"

"I said erm...alrighty, that's...HORRIBLE!!"

"No, after that."

"GET IT CHECKED OUT!!"

"After THAT!"

"Nuthin'"

"Yeah sure,"

"I DID SAY NOTHING."

"Don't believe you!"

"I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING OKAY!"

"Naninani boo boo, Selphie has a secret!!"

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Tell me what you said then!"

"Fine! I said we can't have you speaking Japanese on stage!"

"NANI??? Uh...WHAT?!?!?!"

"You heard it, on STAGE! This year we're gonna have a play production instead of our usual Garden Festival...and we've pinpointed you as the lead already..."

She flipped him around and pulled a long line of tape measure out of her pocket.

"Now...gotta have you all measured up for the costume..."

He spun away from her hands and stared back at her bewildered.

"I'm not going on the stage...much less in some strange costume...what play are we doing anyway?" he asked...dreading the answer.

"WE!! You said WE!!! There, see, you've already agreed to go in our production!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Argh...shut up!! What play are YOU doing!"

"I'm not gonna be IN the play, I'm the director, director's don't act!"

_Calm...CALM!!!_

"What play is being put on?!?"

"Hehehehehe...hahahahahaha...muahahahahahahahaha...MUAHAHAHAHAHA...*cough* *splutter**gasp*...ha-ha-haaa..."

Squall looked at her with a scared expression...

"Er...Selphie?"

"Um...yeah...hehehehe-"

"Don't start again!"

"Okay okay! We're gonna be putting on...*drumroll with her feet*...ROMEO AND JULIET!!"

"NANI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" was the last thing Squall said before the floor came up to meet his face.

**AN:** Okies, I don't know if that really sucked or anything. Read and Review and tell me if it DID...or DIDN'T!! Thanks a bunch...oh, and I'm not Japanese...so...yeah...


	2. Chapter 2

SHAKESPEAREAN FFVIII

SHAKESPEAREAN FFVIII

Watch our beloved characters make a fool of themselves as they give a production of Romeo and Juliet...live!!

DISCLAIMER: Squaresoft owns FF8, Shakespeare owns Romeo And Juliet. I own nothing.

Chapter 2

"Squall? Squall!! Squaaaaaaaaaaall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Squall's eyelids flickered open to reveal a smiling Rinoa.

"Ugh...can people stop doing that?"

"Oops, sorry, but you were sleeping like a baby and I couldn't wake you up."

"Ugh...forget it...kore wa doko?" [where is this]

"Ahem...uh...what?"

"What are you talking about what?"

"You said something like kure kure..."

"What? Oh...NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Rinoa backed away looking scared.

"Stupid Japanese...ahm...am I in the infirmary?"

"Uh...yeah...Selphie brought you in after you...ahm...fainted..."

"FAINTED!! AH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!"

"Can you stop yelling, Squall?"

"No."

"Fine," she crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out.

Just then Zell came bounding in.

"Hey man, what's up?? Oh yeah!! Go baby!! Uh-huh, uh-huh."

"What is WITH all the guys acting weird today, huh?"

"Zell, sometimes I wonder if you're gay," muttered Squall.

"What? Gay? Well, duh." Zell wolf-whistled, "Hey Squa-all, don't you know that I've had my eyes on you the whole time, babe?" he jutted out his very non-existent hips.

"But Zell, he's mine already!"

"Doesn't matter, still love ya, baby!"

"Ah shit Zell, cough out those pills and start acting normal for once," a very annoyed Squall said.

"Aww....but...but...I thought you liked me like this, Squally-poo..."

"Uh..."

"Zell, you're scary."

"I'm not scary. But I will be when I'm on the stage acting out the part of Mercutio!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" he bounded out.

"Acting? Mercutio? What the f**k??" Rinoa looked at Squall, who was shaking his head.

"Going crazy over some stupid play..."

"Play?? What play??"

"Don't ask me..."

"Ask me!!" came a shrill voice.

"Selphie!"

"Ah shit. Hide me..."

"Well Rinoa, haven't you heard about our Romeo and Juliet production? We don't even need to audition and I already know who's perfect for what. I think you know Zell's Mercutio...he was so excited. Anyway, you're Juliet," she shoved 10 pages of tiny print into Rinoa's nose, "And you're Romeo."

"What? No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"Argh! Stop it!"

"Bummer. You started it. Oh, and rehearsals start tomorrow. Well...I'm off!! Gotta give this script to Quistis. She's Tybalt...even though it's a guy's part. Oops. Oh well, she'll look fine if we just make her up a bit..." she skipped out of the room.

"Oh Romeo, oh Romeo, where thou-"

"Argh! Don't start!"

"Why? I think this is cute!"

"No it's not! It's stupid. And why Romeo and Juliet. Why not Macbeth? I'll rather be Macbeth, I'll get to kill people. And look at this. TEN PAGES!!! I have to memorize it ALL?!?!?! Squall sighed and fell back onto the mattress.

_That's it! I'm going back in time to kill Shakespeare's mother...or his father...or just him. Ugh!! Calling Ellone...Ellone...1 2 3...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....._

_* * *_

"Squall? Squall!! Squaaaaaaaaaaall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Squall flew up from his pillows and sheets.

"ARGH!!!! Stop doing that will you?!!"

"Well, you're not waking!"

"I need an alarm clock desperately."

"Anyway, here's your breakfast. And hurry up, you've spent a whole day in the infirmary. Get dressed and we'll go to rehearsals."

"Ohiyo..." Squall tucked in. [Morning...]

"Speak English!"

"Sumimasen. Oishii desune!" [Sorry. This is delicious!]

"WHAT??!!"

"Arigato, Rinoa san." [Thanks Rinoa]

"Uh...I think I'll leave you alone for a while..."

"Hai. Sayonara," [Okay, goodbye] Squall suddenly woke up from his Japanese daze, "What the-? Ah shit!! I HATE JAPANESE!!"

"Hey Squall, have you noticed that 'ah shit' and 'argh' seems to have taken over your 'whatevers' lately?"

Squall stared at his hands sheepishly.

"Yeah..."

"Seriously Squall, I think you've been rather stressed lately. Rest a bit. I'll just go while you get dressed."

Still bewildered, Rinoa turned to go, but a cold hand immediately grabbed her arm.

"Squall?!"

"Why the f**k do you have a lipstick mark on your arm? You're LESBIAN and you never TOLD me?! Ugh!! Why you little-" a stinging slap stopped him in the middle of his sentence.

"Ow..."

"Oh, Squall, how could you say something like that? You KNOW you're the only one I ever truly loved and now you're calling me lesbian! *sob* This red mark was from Tom the jogging boy this morning when I accidentally tripped him over and he punched me back!"

Squinting, Squall stared at her arm, and realized that the red mark was indeed a bruise.

"Uh oh...um...sorry..."

"Apology not accepted!!" sobbed Rinoa as she ran out of the infirmary, crying, "Mummy!"

Squall stared after her flapping blue coat.

"Oops..."

He got up and chased her through the corridors, attracting stares from classmen and fellow SeeDs. The sight of their well-composed (well...usually) commander running through the Garden like a headless chicken in his pajamas with a red handprint on his left cheek was well-worth remembering.

"Rinoa!! Wait up!! LISTEN TO ME!!!"

He puffed into the quad and spotted Zell standing with a short brunette near him.

"Ah shit..." Squall jumped behind a bush, but was already spotted by Zell.

"Yo Squall! S'up?! Whoa!! Uh...nice pajamas...pink's a rather nice colour on you, you know?"

"Shut up Zell!"

"Oops. Anyway, this is my new girlfriend, Lillian," he pulled the brunette towards him.

Squall felt jealousy flood through him.

"But Zell...I thought you were GAY!!! With ME-" a punch to the left side of his face left him lying spread-eagled on the floor.

"Who're ya callin' gay ya son-of-a-b***h!! I've never been interested in anything except the opposite sex...well...maybe except for Irvine...but with YOU?! I wouldn't choose you even if you were the last guy alive!! C'mon babe," he walked off, hugging Lillian to his side, and left a blinking Squall lying next to a flower bush with a hundred pink, chirping chocobos spinning around his head.

**AN:** Phew!! I'll start on the rehearsals next chapter, but I've gotta find a copy of the REAL play before I do start so it might be a while. Oh, and no one is truly gay or anything in this story =). Everything that Squall or Zell feels is truly temporary. Anyway, I appreciate all the reviews!! Keep 'em comin'!! Thx a lot ¤¿¤

**AN2: **I had to upload again coz of this: I'm too lazy to go to the library so does anyone know whether I can get a copy of Romeo and Juliet on the net?? Thanks in advance!!


	3. Chapter 3

SHAKESPEAREAN FFVIII

SHAKESPEAREAN FFVIII

Watch our beloved characters make a fool of themselves as they give a production of Romeo and Juliet...live!!

DISCLAIMER: Squaresoft owns FF8, Shakespeare owns Romeo And Juliet. I own nothing.

Chapter 3

Squall picked himself carefully up from the dusty floor of the quad, brushing petals from his pink flannel pajamas and is well aware of the fact that he's about to have a red and burning left cheek for the rest of the day or, under the worst circumstances, rest of his life.

"Squall?"

He turned around and gasped at the sight of Quistis Trepe glaring disgustedly at him. Frantically, he reached for a nearby flower-pot to cover himself up, but dropped what he was holding with a loud clang when he realized he was actually using a dirty dustbin to hide his disgraced self behind.

Quistis shook her head.

"Sq-Commander Leonhart! What I have just witnessed is a disgrace to the Garden and to yourself. As a person of such a high ranking in our Garden, your actions have disgusted me thoroughly. I shall personally inform the headmaster of this, and take care to see that you are demoted to a lower position."

"Pfffft!! I'M a disgrace, what about YOU Quistis Trepe. YOU're dressing up as a GUY for some stupid play-ARGH!!!"

The third hit to the left side of his face left Squall half-dead.

"Squall, you are a failure to us all."

Quistis's footsteps faded away.

With great difficulty Squall pulled himself up once more, and groaned outwardly when a hysterical Selphie bounded up to him.

"Oh no..."

"Hey Squall. You're finally here. C'mon, you've gotta try on this AWESOME costume we've got for you...and isn't that a bit too much blush you've got on the left cheek?? And *gasp* those pajamas are so CUTE!!! Can I have them?"

"Er...no."

"Yes."

"No."

"Please!"

"No!"

"Aww..."

"NO!!!!!"

"Okay okay! Geez!"

Adn the next thing he knew, he was being dragged away by a hyperactive Selphie.

* * *

"See...how she...leans? Yeah...leans her hand upon her cheek! Ah, if I was a hand upon that glove, then I might touch that reek..."

"Squall, you're doing it all wrong!"

"No I'm not! The print's too small!"

"It's okay Squall, follow me!"

"See."

"See."

"How."

"How."

"She."

"She."

"Leans."

"Argh!! Okay okay, I get it now!"

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Ok Rinoa! We've gotta do the balcony scene all over again. Come down from there."

Still glowering at Squall, Rinoa cautiously stepped onto the wooden ladder.

BAM!! BAM!! BAM!! Clonk!!

"OW...!!!!!!!!!!!"

"RINOA!" Squall shrieked, and ran towards the collapsed balcony.

"Ugh..." Rinoa's head popped out of a pile of cardboard debris.

"You're okay? Thank Hyne. What happened?"

She glared at him.

"None of your business!"

"But Rinoa..." he whined.

Just then Selphie came running up to them.

"Ooh...mega bummer. I can't believe that happened. Are you okay?"

"Kinda. My butt really hurts though."

"Ugh...what happened?"

"There was...there was...*sob*...a BANANA PEEL on the top rung! I slipped and fell an the balcony collapsed and I landed on my butt."

"A banana peel?"

"Yeah. And now I'm gonna have a sore butt for the rest of the day!"

"Hee hee hee," there came a high laugh out of nowhere.

"Huh?"

A boy in a light-blue t-shirt ran out of the quad.

"Tom! You little son of a *beep*! Wait till I *beepin'**beep* your *beepin'* mother! You'll *beepin'* regret this *beepin'* day! You get your *beepin'* butt back here you little *beep*!" Rinoa screamed.

Squall and Selphie stared at her wide-mouthed, awed over the language she chose to use and the physical way she portrayed her emotions.

"Uh...Rinoa?" began Squall.

"Shut up!"

"Okay okay."

All was silent except for Rinoa's heavy breathing.

A commotion at the entrance to the quad caused them all to turn their heads.

Xu, the props director, staggered in lugging a huge leather bag behind her.

"All...the changes...*pant*...to the costumes...*pant*...are done. *gasp* Here...they are," she panted, beads of sweat glistened on her forehead.

The Tom-commotion tossed behind them, Squall and Rinoa both looked at the bag scared.

"Really?? Woopee!! Okay, Squall, Rinoa, let's put them on and we'll see how they look!"

Selphie crawled in and dragged out what seems to resemble two clumps of t-rexaur skin.

"Booyaka!! They're GORGEOUS, Xu!! C'mon, let's get it on peeps!!!"

**AN: **I still haven't got my hands on a script yet, but school starts on Tuesday, so I'll be able to borrow one then. And I've gotta ask my Japanese teacher for translations, so it might be a looong while before next chapter is up!! Happy reading!! And Review now!!


End file.
